cumulous nimbus

"who the heck would look at clouds" Xh said to me today during Geography(which i nonchantly joined the class after a long training session in the morning) in response to Mr Tan's sentence on clouds.
well my dear, i would. i say looking at clouds give of calming vibes of some sort, enough to just... free your mind. from all that irritating stress.

i've made up my mind. i'm not flunking anything ANYMORE. i'm gona study so hard, that i wont flunk amath nor chinese. but damn. amath is such a pain in the ass.

okay like today i stayed back to do my IPW with my friends. and one person had the fucking brains to actually leave her slide(in the powerpoint presentaiont) out and happily "went to follow her friend to see teacher and THEN could not find us, for no one had either of our numbers(Xh's, Anh's nor mine)"

W-O-W. She has such high interllect that she does NOT have to come and do her slides. and what? the jaw-dropping highly intelligent primates would finish it for her? how smart.
and the presentation is tomorrow! WHEEE~ SO FUN.

and i dont keep my head in the game. i'm gona loose it soon. thinking about it draws tears down my face. i am not willing to release this silk thread. because i love him so. and thats exactly why. i want to be there, to give him the support, encouragement he deserves, but if he doesnt even put in an effort, i cant do anything.
"oh yeah what the heck do you know? i just cant help it"
would probably be the response.
i act all happy and stuff. i act this way because i dont need any more sulking or drowning in my sorrow kinda attitude to make it seem so pathetic. i just want the better of things. theres absolutely no need for the stressing on how sad and sorrowful i feel and stuff.
even tho i act happy. its just to make myself feel better than what i am already. sometimes people ask me if i'm alright. i smile. with tears in my eyes.
i'm glad no one knows this blog, so i can just blog about every single thing i want to.

From annoying people, to stuff i need to ramble about.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. I'M NOT GONA BE JUST SOMEONE THATS ALWAYS THERE TO TALK TO WHEN YOU'RE BORED. do you EVER think about me? NO. and thats when, i'm following my pace. no more looking at the stupid minature flat display panel filled with colored pixels arrayed in front of a reflector.

everything irks me.