RAHH!
i feel like shit right now. even though i had funs, they were rather short-lived and cannot supress this depression i have right now.
studying is taking away my life. all i do is study, and have fun(skating). i barely talk any substantial thing to anyone other than pure 100% crap. on a side note tho, i have to say i loved the bailey's mooncake auntie linda gave us.
the photoshoot was fun. some stuff happened and i just cant get it out of my head, which is yes, totally desponding. all i want to do is talk to you, but it seems like its just not more than ephemeral. i'm loosing two of my dearest people around me. it's so emotionally and physically draining. god, cant be live any easier.
great! my life is so fun.
so my mum got pissed. all thanks to my younger bro, because of my hamsters changing cage blah blah blah. like.. wtf. i seriously seriously dont need any of this shit right now, especially since its near my exam period. would all of you just fuck off and leave me alone to study and skate? i dont care if i'm using studying and skating as an excuse to escape from all this shit. cause i dont care. because i have goals i want to reach, i have targets that i want to achieve before its too late.
i dont want to be so depressed i get caught up in whatever i'm depressed in and drown and lament about my sorrow, which is utterly pathetic because it wouldnt be any more productive that crying over spilt milk. wounds get made in our heart, yes no doubt, but clear up your tears and move on. or you can cry and do something productive at the same time. just dont sit there and collect dust and spider webs.
now, i totally understand and feel my dad, how he feels to have all this load on him. with his company, his work, to bring in the bacon, see to our needs and solve all kind of shit. i must take lessons on how to just be able to shut them up(mentally) while they're complaining about all sorts of crap from him. *makes a mental note of it*
i want to be the happy and bubbly girl i am again. on the outside when i'm with everyone, i smile a smile that's so fake and bubble that's even much more fatitious. and only i know that, but whatever it is. i want to gain my real smile back. i dont want to live a facade.
but hey, its like being a girlfriend of crystal meth.(:
studying is taking away my life. all i do is study, and have fun(skating). i barely talk any substantial thing to anyone other than pure 100% crap. on a side note tho, i have to say i loved the bailey's mooncake auntie linda gave us.
the photoshoot was fun. some stuff happened and i just cant get it out of my head, which is yes, totally desponding. all i want to do is talk to you, but it seems like its just not more than ephemeral. i'm loosing two of my dearest people around me. it's so emotionally and physically draining. god, cant be live any easier.
great! my life is so fun.
so my mum got pissed. all thanks to my younger bro, because of my hamsters changing cage blah blah blah. like.. wtf. i seriously seriously dont need any of this shit right now, especially since its near my exam period. would all of you just fuck off and leave me alone to study and skate? i dont care if i'm using studying and skating as an excuse to escape from all this shit. cause i dont care. because i have goals i want to reach, i have targets that i want to achieve before its too late.
i dont want to be so depressed i get caught up in whatever i'm depressed in and drown and lament about my sorrow, which is utterly pathetic because it wouldnt be any more productive that crying over spilt milk. wounds get made in our heart, yes no doubt, but clear up your tears and move on. or you can cry and do something productive at the same time. just dont sit there and collect dust and spider webs.
now, i totally understand and feel my dad, how he feels to have all this load on him. with his company, his work, to bring in the bacon, see to our needs and solve all kind of shit. i must take lessons on how to just be able to shut them up(mentally) while they're complaining about all sorts of crap from him. *makes a mental note of it*
i want to be the happy and bubbly girl i am again. on the outside when i'm with everyone, i smile a smile that's so fake and bubble that's even much more fatitious. and only i know that, but whatever it is. i want to gain my real smile back. i dont want to live a facade.
but hey, its like being a girlfriend of crystal meth.(:
posted by green eggs and ham^^ at 7:23 AM
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