原点

It's been a while since I've last written an entry, i do not expect my lovelies to keep up since my blog is pretty much dead.

But as the title suggests, it's back to square one, the starting, the beginning.

I was just listening to 王力宏's <心跳> and i realized how the issues in my life pertained so much to this song, and of course it's very deep and meaningful lyrics.

"爱情的发展已难以回头却无法往前走"

Is what is proclaims. I feel like this is how our relationship is ever going to be. And it's okay, because deep down i'm hoping to find someone that will sweep me off the feet and maybe show me what love really means, mainly because I do not believe in it anymore (hell, someone please challenge me. No, i'm not being cocky thinking that no one's good enough for me). At least the kind of love between two "soulmates". Don't get me wrong, i still believe in love for people, for my sisters (yay everlasting sisterhood!) and my family and friends. Perhaps, just maybe... the only one that i might be willing to believe in love by my own will would be the guy who's so far away from me now, that i will perhaps never see for about 2 years or so since he is currently the government's dog. But i mean, for that to even happen... that's still a long way...

Let's face it, no one really appreciates being let down. All the sweet things you say to me has no effect on me whatsoever because my brain and heart are closed. Nicely wrapped in this bubble. I like the idea of calling it a delicate rose in a bell jar like that in Beauty and the Beast! (:

I'm not just any girl that you can buy over with sweet nothings and by doing favors for me. I am (at least i think so) a strong, firm and determined girl (when i need to be). Your call, correct me if i'm wrong i would love to hear if you think otherwise.

You're probably going to be even more shocked that i erased your number from my phone even though i have it imprinted in memory... that's okay. You deserved it. I think i deserve better. I'm not going to stand being second to anything. I can share first with other things to a certain extent but definitely not second. I can't please everyone and I know that I have to break somethings and watch tears (my own too because i'm just such a crybaby LOL) just to get my point across that thick skull of yours.

Maybe Andy's emoness is rubbing off on me.

Whatever, time to get back to dy/dx-ing!!! YAYYY.